I love it when small, seemingly meaningless tasks reveal great lessons.  Today I tackled the challenge of taking apart my  bed that has been assembled with the same dry, rusty screws for over twenty years.  I had to be able to disassemble and move the bed by noon  so the “floor guys” could refinish my wood floor.   The first three screws out of four were relatively easy to remove. The forth screw was giving me a problem despite the WD40 I was dousing it with.  I didn’t have the right tools so I had been using a needle nose pliers and mostly concentrating on turning the bolt that held the screw rather trying to twist the screw that was housed in it’s very snug and recessed space.  The extra long screw was not only stuck and a little rusty, it was also crooked and very stubborn.  It seemed like just when it would start to move it would get stuck again.  UGH!

All throughout the morning, as I was moving the furniture out and disassembling the bed, my mind had been preoccupied with a struggle I was having with a loved one.  Even though I kept pushing the story of my problem with this person away it kept creeping back into my mind.  I had been reaching out over and over to this person trying to resolve things and only receiving sporadic, off topic responses or radio silence.  Much like the screw I was getting nowhere with this person and feeling frustrated.

When I caught myself getting frustrated while trying to coax the screw out of the bolt I stopped.  I know how to receive favor and ease as well as create well being and solutions.  What was I doing?? Intentionally willing myself to relax, I thanked God for taking care the details of disassembling the frickin bed, and specifically getting the screw out of the frame.  I said thank you for the ease and effortless nature of the daunting task of clearing out the entire room by noon  being completed with time to spare.  That’s when I noticed I had been tightening the bolt onto the screw! While lefty loosey is a law unto itself the bolt was the opposite! My twisting the bolt lefty loosey was really making the screw righty tighty. NO! All that energy I had expended to turn the bolt had been counterproductive and I now had even more to unscrew.  I took a deep breath and resumed the uncomfortable contorted position necessary to twist the bolt while holding the screw in place and…voila!  Easily the bolt swiveled along the threads of the screw in the direction I desired and I was just using my bare hands! I realized that the challenge had come because I was moving the bolt in the wrong direction.  I am someone who rides my faith and as a norm experiences ease and favor in my life. Because of this the challenge of the screw stood out.  I got the message.  It was difficult because I was heading in the wrong direction. PROFOUND!! I then made the connection that most likely my relationship frustration was coming from me approaching the situation from the wrong direction and that is why it felt so counterproductive.  Even though it wasn’t a perfect universal resolution wrapped up beautifully and topped with a bow, it felt good to let go and stop running up the down escalator.  I have faith that good will come from this upheaval in my relationship, I don’t know exactly how, but I know it will come.  In the mean time I can stop heading in the wrong direction and just give this person the space they apparently desire and allow God to write the happy ending.  Whew! Just in time for the floor guys. :)

When you really pay attention, everything is your teacher.
-Ezra Bayda    



I simply say what a relief to discover someone that really knows what they're discussing over the internet. You certainly know how to bring a problem to light and make it important. More and more people really need to check this out and understand this side of your story. I was surprised you aren't more popular because you certainly possess the gift.

07/05/2017 1:57am

I found this post so interesting and beneficial to read! I find it helpful to look for the humor in the situation. You can usually find some angle to see something funny in a frustrating situation and that’s the easiest and best solution to the problem. simply realizing that you may have taken on a bit much lately or things have been tough and that you need to take this evening or a few days to just relax, take care of yourself and perhaps simplify a bit. It is great to see that you are seeking solutions. I admire your courage in putting in effort to live a happier life. I am happy for you because it is such an easy task for you to become happier by following simple, practical instructions.

05/10/2017 1:30am

We all feel frustration. Sometimes frustration makes you realize to keep going until you reach your goal. Sometimes you feel frustrated because you're not satisfied with what you did. It's like no matter how hard you try, it still doesn't work. Even if you feel frustrated don't give up because always remember that it is just a challenge for you.

06/10/2017 2:48pm

It was a great lesson for you. And I am glad you've told us about it here.


Leave a Reply