I want to let you in on a little secret I have shared with only my closest friends and family. Life is so much easier when you hire an assistant or as I prefer to refer to my help....a concierge. ( We are ordering some 5 star service here) We have all heard the advice to Let Go and Let God. This is my rendition of this sage advice however I beefed it up for maximum efficiency and satisfaction.
Everyone feels like they have to do everything themselves at one point or another. It doesn't matter if it's laundry and housecleaning or bringing in the big deal for the company or planning the annual Christmas party at work. We can all use a little help. My solution is to hire a concierge or an assistant. My assistant/ concierge is named Michael. He is gay because it makes things easier with my husband, bald because I like that and sassy...for fun. He is a former employee of Oprah so he is used to going above and beyond the ask to really WOW his employers. Anything I ask him to do is as good as done and not just finished done, but knock your socks off done. Anytime I have a trip or an event or some daunting task I call up Michael and assign it to him. Now, we are all clear that Michael is an imaginary assistant and by call I mean I put my thumb to ear and my pinky to my mouth in a mock phone...yes? I tell Michael to take care of all the details of the event/trip/task under grace and in a magnificently perfect way knowing he will most definitely wow me with the results. He always does. Sometimes, if I am particularly stressed about a trip or event I will find myself calling him several times a day to make sure he's got everything under control. This really ticks him off. After the second call he will say something like : "Bitch, didn't I tell you I have this? Now leave me to my work so I can blow your socks off!" I love him! I can be general or vague with the details and he always knows just what I want and many times will even surprise me tossing in things that I love and didn't even know I wanted. I have shared this with many of my friends. A girlfriend of mine who has a wonderfully inappropriate sense of humor wanted to hire a hot, sexy assistant and name him Dick. We have so much fun with Dick. I will tell her: You have a Dick, use it! Or, she will say: I just love Dick. Which is why I got her a key chain and magnet set that says I ( Heart) Dick. Funny, it was easy to find many I ( Heart) Dick gift items on the internet. Great minds. When I told my dad to hire an assistant he asked if it could be a female. I told him yes, but didn't want to know anything else about her. Awkward. At first when he started playing around with the concept he was so crazy about asking for help. He was very uncomfortable asking for any help. A sure sign that he needs to hire some help more than anything. If you can't imagine asking for imaginary help you are seriously in your own way! He would say things like, I can't ask for help for something that trivial. Are you kidding??? I've got Michael washing and styling my hair, doing the laundry and finding me a local restaurant that serves orange crunch cake. I am sure Dick is doing far more for my friend! If you can receive help, assistance, miracles and peace AND have some fun with it at the same time, why not get a Dick ( or a Michael or a random female assistant) right now! What are you waiting for?
Ask for what you want, and be prepared to get it.
The following is a "tip sheet" I sent to my dad to encourage him to use a concierge:
( please refer to the post above for clarification on working with a concierge/assistant)
Using your concierge does a couple things…. Anytime you are feeling like YOU have to do everything yourself you will feel anxiety, stress and be much less productive because you are limiting possibilities. By believing you have help and assistance you are allowing support from an inexhaustible, all powerful source that wants to work for you. You also get out of the way! If help and support is trying to come to you but you keep putting out there in your thoughts that you have to do everything yourself you are blocking your good. Allow yourself to receive it. Knowing that you are not responsible for everything also feels better which allows you to be in a better place where better events can come to you. If you can have fun with it you will feel even that much better and allow things to play out in an even better way. This is what usually happens. The key is faith. Once you give your concierge a task you have to stop thinking about it. Assume it is done at least for the moment and just keep moving along. Expect it to be done…as much as you can. The more you use it the more faith and confidence you will have.
Some tips to using your concierge…
Stay out of how to do anything. They are the pro you only have to be clear on what you want. If you tell them how to do it you are in the way and keeping them from wowing you.
Tell them what you want and that you want all the details taken care of under grace and in aperfect way. You are traveling VIP you should not have to worry about any details. That is their job.
If you find yourself worrying about the outcome of something you have assigned remind yourself that your world class concierge is taking care of all the details and drop it from your mind. My concierge gets real bitchy when I keep checking in to see how things are coming. He knows his job and does it well and my nagging is only keeping him from it. You can’t delegate and then micromanage. Your job is to remain clear on what you want and stay out of the way.
Try not to sabotage them. For example if you have a meeting with people you normally find toxic and challenging give the meeting to the concierge. Make sure they give you an advantage and security so no one can give you any trouble. Be sure they are clear on what you want ( not what you don’t want) to accomplish in the meeting.
Don’t be afraid to ask for things that don’t seem possible. Dream big. Now before you go into the meeting be sure to exercise some faith and not expect the same experience you have had in the past. Are you bracing yourself for another war? You get what you expect. If you do that you are in the way again and basically asking for what you don’t want.
Since you are working with some scary kids I will share one more little trick that I’ve discovered. (As you know for the past couple years I’ve had teenage daughters. ) Keep reminding God ( The Universe) that you are blessed with these children that you enjoy everyday. See something that freaks you out? Say to yourself… “that looks like something heinous and worrysome but I know that these kids are blessings that I enjoy everyday.” Feels a little like denial but it works.
Last thing. Always begin with gratitude. By saying thank you, you are saying that you have already received. This is the same as all those bible passages that remind you to pray as if you’ve already received. Some examples…
“ Thank you God ( Universe ) ( Insert Concierge name here) that these children are blessings that I enjoy everyday.”
“Thank you ( ) for working out the details of my job so that I am supporting management in a powerful and inspiring way, enjoying what I do, and all the while being handsomely compensated…under grace and in a perfect way.
It’s simple and it works.
Not sure if I told you this….When (my husband) was dealing with many crappy partners all at once , our tendency was to want to retaliate and screw these people over to get them back for the stuff they were doing to us. Instead we would stop and demand out loud “ Justice and Resolution!” and give it to God (Universe, Consierge) to take care of. Not always easy when you want to kick some ass! When (my husband) got the deal that basically freed us from all of these people and situations in one fell swoop, he was working primarily with a German guy whose name was pronounced YOOSTES. When the deal was almost finalized I saw his name in writing….
Justus. Our prayers were answered in a great way that we would have never been able to come up ourselves. Through JUSTICE/JUSTUS! Literally. So COOL! So you don’t even have to fight your battles. “ Justice and Resolution” rallies the troops, keeps you out of combat, and pays off in a big wayJ
You can do anything, but not everything
This was my first thought coming off of a melt down about my house not staying clean. There are 5 other people and a dog also living here so I can't just wave a magic wand and make it fabulous.....or can I? B.S!! I thought. I can ask for what ever I want and I want a self cleaning house. I also want kids and a husband who are neatnicks by nature. That is what I started to declare and give thanks for two weeks ago. Thank you for my self-cleaning, self- maintaining house that rejuvenates itself. Thank you that my kids and husband are nicknicks and CHOOSE to keep their living areas clean, neat and orderly....
Do you know that in the last two days two of my messiest kids have completely cleaned and rearranged their rooms and closets al on their own! They even lugged the vacuum upstairs and argued over who was using it and when! I love this alternate universe. The real impressive detail is that while I was gone this morning my husband actually put his dirty laundry in the laundry BASKET! I wasn't sure he even knew what those plastic rectangles were for. So I am telling you miracles can happen. You just have to ask for them and you certainly can ask God for a self cleaning house and get it. My only problem now is deciding what else to ask for next. So many miracles so little time :))))
"I am realistic- I expect miracles."