I love it when small, seemingly meaningless tasks reveal great lessons. Today I tackled the challenge of taking apart my bed that has been assembled with the same dry, rusty screws for over twenty years. I had to be able to disassemble and move the bed by noon so the “floor guys” could refinish my wood floor. The first three screws out of four were relatively easy to remove. The forth screw was giving me a problem despite the WD40 I was dousing it with. I didn’t have the right tools so I had been using a needle nose pliers and mostly concentrating on turning the bolt that held the screw rather trying to twist the screw that was housed in it’s very snug and recessed space. The extra long screw was not only stuck and a little rusty, it was also crooked and very stubborn. It seemed like just when it would start to move it would get stuck again. UGH!
All throughout the morning, as I was moving the furniture out and disassembling the bed, my mind had been preoccupied with a struggle I was having with a loved one. Even though I kept pushing the story of my problem with this person away it kept creeping back into my mind. I had been reaching out over and over to this person trying to resolve things and only receiving sporadic, off topic responses or radio silence. Much like the screw I was getting nowhere with this person and feeling frustrated.
When I caught myself getting frustrated while trying to coax the screw out of the bolt I stopped. I know how to receive favor and ease as well as create well being and solutions. What was I doing?? Intentionally willing myself to relax, I thanked God for taking care the details of disassembling the frickin bed, and specifically getting the screw out of the frame. I said thank you for the ease and effortless nature of the daunting task of clearing out the entire room by noon being completed with time to spare. That’s when I noticed I had been tightening the bolt onto the screw! While lefty loosey is a law unto itself the bolt was the opposite! My twisting the bolt lefty loosey was really making the screw righty tighty. NO! All that energy I had expended to turn the bolt had been counterproductive and I now had even more to unscrew. I took a deep breath and resumed the uncomfortable contorted position necessary to twist the bolt while holding the screw in place and…voila! Easily the bolt swiveled along the threads of the screw in the direction I desired and I was just using my bare hands! I realized that the challenge had come because I was moving the bolt in the wrong direction. I am someone who rides my faith and as a norm experiences ease and favor in my life. Because of this the challenge of the screw stood out. I got the message. It was difficult because I was heading in the wrong direction. PROFOUND!! I then made the connection that most likely my relationship frustration was coming from me approaching the situation from the wrong direction and that is why it felt so counterproductive. Even though it wasn’t a perfect universal resolution wrapped up beautifully and topped with a bow, it felt good to let go and stop running up the down escalator. I have faith that good will come from this upheaval in my relationship, I don’t know exactly how, but I know it will come. In the mean time I can stop heading in the wrong direction and just give this person the space they apparently desire and allow God to write the happy ending. Whew! Just in time for the floor guys. :)
When you really pay attention, everything is your teacher.
I would like to begin by explaining why I am so eager to share my two favorite otherwise super-secret magic tricks or hacks to life. I have found that when I am in a funk of a mood or lacking motivation or energy I can turn my entire day around by just doing something nice for someone else. My favorite thing to do is to pay for the person behind me in the drive through. It gives me a little thrill and usually ( hopefully) it is inexpensive and easy. I have yet to get in front of someone who is buying for the entire office or little league team. KNOCK ON WOOD! Ha! It always makes me happy to imagine the person receiving an unexpected surprise from a complete stranger. Now you know that I am not selfless in my giving but giving nonetheless. So in the spirit of giving to feel good I am sharing real magic with YOU. I am counting on this being a real PMS buster! J
Okay, worrying about these two things used to create so much stress in my life. I am confident that I am not alone in this.
1. Time or lack of
2. Money or lack of
It is the “lack of “ part that creates the stress and anxiety. Just know that any type of lack belief will feel bad but these are two things that are part of daily life. Let’s start with time. For years when my kids were little I ran around with a constant background dissonant scream of “I don’t have enough time!” Of course it was true! I was always frazzled, missing things, showing up late, unorganized, disheveled and lets be honest fairly tragic and manic because of it. I read somewhere that you can stretch time and I was desperate enough to try it. I can’t remember how I went about stretching time then but I have evolved to just being aware of my thoughts and beliefs about time. If I notice I am thinking or feeling “there is not enough time” I reassure myself. “ I always have MORE than enough time.” This is important because I also initially I changed my inner time belief from I am powerless over time and there is never enough…to I have power over my experience of time and I have perfect timing. Sounds good right? It turns out perfect timing is almost as stressful as not enough time. I was showing up to things just in the nick of time or barely getting things finished and accomplished. If I had to assign a hashtag to the two it would be “There’s never enough time!” #scream! and “I have prefect timing” would be #whew! An improvement, but not much of one or at least not enough of an improvement for me. When I have the belief “ I ALWAYS have more than enough time!” I live a life of ease. I find that I am magically easily accomplishing tasks, leisurely getting to things on time and relaxed. (#peace) I am a much nicer person and so much more fun to be around! The great thing about this trick is you can apply it to anything. If you notice you have a belief that is regularly causing you anxiety and stress you can make a conscious effort to change it and not just slightly
( remember from previous blogs j-u-s-t is a four letter word!) Make it count! Know that you are never powerless and rewrite the story. It doesn’t matter how far fetched it seems or crazy give it a 360! I know some of you reading this have to thinking “ this chick is a cuckoo!” It may sound crazy because it is. Crazy GOOD! This is getting a little long so I will make this a two part gift. Two for One! WOOOO!
THE HEART THAT GIVES, GATHERS.
-TAO TE CHING-
You will recall from part 1 that my second favorite tricky fix is on the subject of money or lack of. I know this is a common worry and belief for many. My grandfather was a product of the Great Depression. He had a very strong belief in lack in all areas because of his experiences and upbringing. That thinking gets passed down through the generations until someone stands up and shakes their crappy bra out the window and yells “ This bra doesn’t fit and I am NOT going to wear it!!” ( so to speak) or in this case -this belief does not fit…AT ALL!! You can be the one to break the cycle of poverty and struggle in your family and divert the experience of your children to one of wealth, success and abundance in all areas of their lives. Feels pretty good doesn’t it? Now this fix will require an overall change in the subject of Money in general and also a couple constant prods to keep things spinning in the right direction. You first need to shake any preconceived ideas you have or are aware of on the topic. These may be in the flavor of…
… You have to work hard for a little bit of money
…there isn’t enough money to go around
( this may rear it’s ugly head in the form of hatred or annoyance at the rich, wealthy or just Billionaires in general.)
…there is never enough money
…there will never be enough money
…money is the root of all evil
These are some of the nasties that will lead you to never having to worry about having money or wealth as you are repelling it like a giant can of Deep Woods Off!
If God is our limitless source of all things then one thing should not be harder to come by than another. God says there is no hierarchy of difficulty or greatness. So…why not money?
Let go of any dogma or guilt or limiting beliefs you may have for whatever reasons surrounding money. Money is energy and energy is what we co-create so why shouldn’t you create money in your life the way you would create anything else?
Every day proclaim that you are debt free. Know and declare that God is your limitless source ( not your job, your spouse, your parents…) Proclaim that you and your family live high on the land and lend and not borrow. By proclaiming this while it is not yet true and thanking God in advance for these things you throw the open the doors and windows of your life to receive all that God has to offer you.
Here is another easy but constant thing I do that you can easily add to your day. Each time you write you a check or spend money proclaim that you always have more money coming in than going out and thank God in advance for this gift. This replaces for me the worry that would accompany any spending even though it was unwarranted. My fear of lack of money from past experiences and passed down beliefs would cause me to worry anytime any money was going out. This thinking creates fear and lack. By affirming that I always have more money coming in than going out no matter what the situation I allow the abundance to flow in. Now, I am not talking about going crazy and binge shopping but knowing that you are taken care of in light of any situation. Faith. I heard someone ( Joel Osteen?)say that when they would even see something they would normally think they couldn’t afford they should say instead “ Good thing I’m rich and I can easily afford that”. All these games and adjustments help turn you from lack to abundance.
I have a memo line option on my online checking bill pay app. In each memo on my online checks and any actual hand written checks I write “Thank you!” What I am really doing is reminding myself of my source and saying, “ Thank you God that you are my limitless source and that we always have more money coming in than going out”. These tricks may seem small and silly but they can be just what you need to turn things around and start having a better financial situation in your life. The possibilities are endless.
If you are open to something silly play the valley girl game with yourself or a friend. My girlfriend and I used to do this sometimes on a walk when we were trying to shift or create something. It’s especially great for things that seem serious or scary as it is completely ridiculous and takes you out of your fear. We all remember the valley girl style of speaking and if you don’t I am sure that youtube.com is rich with examples! Talk in your valley girl voice and turn the situation that you want to change around completely then add 50-100%. An example I recently used was with my daughter. I was telling her how to play this great game and make it a powerful tool. I used the example of my weight since she knows I have been struggling with my weight for 15 plus years. I recently lost some weight but I am still 20 pounds from where I want to be. So I turned it around and said in my very convincing valley girl speak, “ Oh my gawd, I am getting so skinny! All my friends are worried about me. They all think that I am getting too skinny. They are all harping on me “ you are getting too skinny! We are worried about you, you are going too far, don’t lose anymore weight” Oh my gawd they are just sooo jealous of me! I am wasting away”
Not even an hour later some friends of ours that we hadn’t seen for a couple years stopped over to pick up some furniture we were getting rid of and the woman said “ Oh my God! You have lost so much weight! You are getting too skinny, you shouldn’t lose any more weight you are wasting away!” I kid you not! My daughter just stood there staring with her mouth hanging open. Thank you God! Lesson ingrained!! Oh I loved being amazing to my teenage daughter!
Use this game to shift into financial gain and security. Complain in your valley girl voice about how rich you are. “ Oh my Ga, I am so filthy rich! It’s so ridiculous. Everything I want …boom I just buy it! Money comes at me from the strangest places it’s like I am a freaking wealth magnet. I know it’s so crazy. Don’t like hate me because I’m so rich.” Channel some Nene Leakes ( again youtube.com) “I am rich…bitch!” have fun with it. The more fun you have the more powerful it will be.
I remember reading in a book about change that when a large ship is heading in a direction and needs to change direction it doesn’t just have one huge rudder that flips it immediately in the new direction. This would just snap the rudder. Large ships have many small rudders that each adjust accordingly so that slowly and elegantly the ship can smoothly, and gradually change direction without experiencing the excess force of resistance a drastic switch would cause. These little tricks, hacks and games are your small rudders to get you going in the direction you want to be headed.
“The definition of magic is unbelievable, but happening!”